The 10 Most Important Lessons from The Princess Bride
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The Princess Bride is my favourite movie of all time. Followed closely by Dodgeball so you know I have good taste in films. As an aficionado of the PB I have learned many life lessons and I wanted to share them with you because, as you wish. OK, maybe you didn’t wish for it, but it is an iconic line and I had to fit it in somewhere to prove my worth on the subject.
- 6-fingered men are crooks and cowards. This is for all the single ladies out there. If you see an extra digit, do not, I repeat, do not think about the benefits of having more hands (I’ll leave that one to your imagination). Instead, remember that a 6-fingered man will run away at confrontation, steal your sword, slice you in half with it and intimidate small children on his way out. Stay Away!
- If you wear a mask, your tru wuv will not recognize you. This can be a great party trick, bedtime trick or spying trick. Make sure you wear all black too as it really completes the look.
- A little bit of deadly poison is OK. If you want to impress your friends, start taking just a little bit* of deadly poison. Increase the amounts slowly over time and then pound some down at a frat party. Instant winner. *Warning: defining ‘a little bit’ is tricky. Might have to be trial and error.
- If you ever find yourself in a fire swamp, bring a sword. I think this is good overall advice for any confined space with aggressive animals inside. Zoos come to mind. So what I am really saying is bring a sword to the zoo.
- You should always wait before swimming after eating (miracle pill or otherwise). This is good solid advice that your grandmother likely imparted when you were scarfing down your sandwich as you were running toward the lake. Then when you had a cramp, you blamed your brother. Or, maybe that was just me.
- Mean it and peanut rhyme. If your fledgling poetry career needed some inspiration, you are welcome.
- Always start a fight with your non-dominant hand. This gives the person you are fighting a fighting chance and then you pull the switcharoo and bingo-bango you are golden in the fight department. (That sentence was all kind of fun, right?!)
- If you are going to settle for a man you don’t love, choosing a Prince might seem like a good idea, but it’s not. I can’t stress this enough. Check on your Prince’s credentials before agreeing to mawy him. Ask yourself ‘Could he be using me to start a war with Gilder?’ if the answer is even maybe, go find a farmboy.
- The definition of inconceivable: “not capable of being imagined or grasped mentally; unbelievable.” Trust me, you need to know this.
- When climbing the Cliffs of Insanity, it is helpful to bring a friend and a rope. The friend can either carry you up if your friend is the size of Andre the Giant (RIP) or throw it down to you from the top. Either way, good to have a friend with you. If you fall, they can recover the body and notify next of kin. Next lifetime, I will start a travel blog with this kind of gold.
If you haven’t yet seen the movie, I implore you to watch it. It is great for the whole family and there have to be thousands of other important lessons to learn. I will go watch it again, just in case.