5 Reasons I Think Resting Bitch Face is the New Black

5 Reasons I Think Resting Bitch Face is the New Black

Welcome to another exciting edition of the Friday 5. This week we talk about resting bitch face. Although Grumpy Cat may have made it famous, I have always had this, so I have always been ahead of my time.

The Urban Dictionary defines resting bitch face as:

A bitchy alternative to the usual blank look most people have. This is a condition affecting the facial muscles, suffered by millions of women worldwide. People suffering from bitchy resting face (BRF) have the tendency look hostile and/or judgemental at rest.

 

Here are the reasons why a resting bitch face is your newest and best accessory.

  1. Less need for personal hygiene. Are you really brushing your teeth after you scarfed down that giant burger spinach salad for lunch? Why not try on the resting bitch face? No one will see those pearly whites. And forget the whitening strips. The only time people will see your teeth is if they look past your hands fork carrying a giant burger leaf of spinach. YUM.
  2. The stars do it. My doppelganger Emily Blunt even does it so it must be good. (I know, it is hard to tell who is Emily and who is me. I will give you a hint: Emily has been doing the BRF longer so there are less wrinkles. OK, maybe we aren’t identical but if you squint, picture me younger and remove the jowls we are dead ringers.)
  3. Use your BRF to have less friends. Friends require work and smiling is work. Working less lets you live longer. Therefore resting bitch face makes you live longer. Logic my dear. Logic.
  4. No skanky ‘Hey baby’ or ‘Can I buy you a drink?’ Unwanted advances just don’t happen. I am a marginally average looking girl and had a rocking hot body in high school. Only one guy ever had the nerve to ask me out. There is something to be said about that kind of solitude. I’m not sure what, but something. On the other hand, I had lots of friends who were guys. Most of whom I suspected were gay or trying to get to my hot friends.
  5. Looking younger longer. Did you know that smiling causes wrinkles around your eyes and mouth? Aha! Really, you will look younger longer if you stop smiling. Do you need any more reasons?

I resting bitch face my case.


Comments

  1. Emily Blunt really is your doppelganger! People say I look like Jodi Foster. I’ve heard Traci Lords, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Reba McIntyre too. ?? And love this post! I better practice my resting bitch face more often. I’m not getting any younger!

  2. Love this!! My resting face is always *itchy. But hey, it works great on public transportation; no unwanted seatmates, right? And people who know me know I’m not really angry.

  3. I am a fellow BRF sufferer! And proud. I love this post! #TheList xx

  4. I loved this! I’m pretty sure I am one of the pioneers of Resting Bitch Face. It’s my favourite.

    You really do look a lot like Emily Blunt!

  5. II think I too might be afflicted! Great post, thanks for linking up to #TheList x

  6. Haha, this is brilliant! How did I not know about resting bitch face? I am practising it right now. Half looking at my husband. Will see how we go.

  7. I totally have BRF. I had it at 5, at 15, at 25, and now. The combo of BRF and very low eyebrows makes me look like I am planning your murder. I accidentally took a selfie when I was driving and trying to text this week. That was some scary shit. I look like Pending Road Rage, even though I was perfectly content.
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  8. […] 5 reasons I think a resting bitch face is the new black. […]

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