5 Reasons I Think Resting Bitch Face is the New Black
Welcome to another exciting edition of the Friday 5. This week we talk about resting bitch face. Although Grumpy Cat may have made it famous, I have always had this, so I have always been ahead of my time.
The Urban Dictionary defines resting bitch face as:
A bitchy alternative to the usual blank look most people have. This is a condition affecting the facial muscles, suffered by millions of women worldwide. People suffering from bitchy resting face (BRF) have the tendency look hostile and/or judgemental at rest.
Here are the reasons why a resting bitch face is your newest and best accessory.
- Less need for personal hygiene. Are you really brushing your teeth after you scarfed down that giant
burgerspinach salad for lunch? Why not try on the resting bitch face? No one will see those pearly whites. And forget the whitening strips. The only time people will see your teeth is if they look past your handsfork carrying a giant burgerleaf of spinach. YUM.
- The stars do it. My doppelganger Emily Blunt even does it so it must be good. (I know, it is hard to tell who is Emily and who is me. I will give you a hint: Emily has been doing the BRF longer so there are less wrinkles. OK, maybe we aren’t identical but if you squint, picture me younger and remove the jowls we are dead ringers.)
- Use your BRF to have less friends. Friends require work and smiling is work. Working less lets you live longer. Therefore resting bitch face makes you live longer. Logic my dear. Logic.
- No skanky ‘Hey baby’ or ‘Can I buy you a drink?’ Unwanted advances just don’t happen. I am a marginally average looking girl and had a rocking hot body in high school. Only one guy ever had the nerve to ask me out. There is something to be said about that kind of solitude. I’m not sure what, but something. On the other hand, I had lots of friends who were guys. Most of whom I suspected were gay or trying to get to my hot friends.
- Looking younger longer. Did you know that smiling causes wrinkles around your eyes and mouth? Aha! Really, you will look younger longer if you stop smiling. Do you need any more reasons?
I resting bitch face my case.