Colonoscopy – Fun or Super Fun

OK, I had my every-7-year colonoscopy this morning. I am still a bit wiped out so, forgive me if I ramble.

Why colonoscopy’s are funny can be summed up in one sentence.

After finishing the shitty prep work yesterday, I made my way to the endoscopy unit for an exploratory procedure for polyps performed by my gastroenterologist.

1. The day-before prep is really shitty. Get it? If not, I will let you stay in suspense for your first colonoscopy. Trust me. Good times.

2. End-oscopy. Really, I didn’t make this up. END oscopy. Just plain funny.

3. Exploratory. If my doctor’s name was Dr. Magellan, I’m not sure I would have made it through the procedure without giggling.

4. Polyps (pronounced Paul-ups). How did Paul get up there? How does he feel about his job to hang on to my colon and what was his father’s line of work? Isn’t’ there a show about the world’s shittiest jobs he should be on instead?

5. Gastro – enter – ologist. I know I mentioned this yesterday, but it is still funny today. Funnier even, since the drug they gave me is really silly.

Not in the sentence, but hysterical none-the-less is that I woke myself out of sedation because I was farting. Classy!

Here is my before pic. The doc, lovely guy, wasn’t big on selfless during the procedure, so you will have to settle for this.

Tomorrow I have an intravaginal ultra-sound. IN-travaginal. I can’t make this stuff up!

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