Dinner Party Fail Revisited
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We recently had really good friends of ours for dinner and everything was amazing! Good company, good food and good conversation. We even had a bit of Cards Against Humanity action. But all dinner parties are not created equal are they? We have had our fair share of dinner failures, but this was my favourite.
We were living in Melbourne in a small flat and meager possessions. We owned 4 dinner plates and were having a couple over for dinner. Mister brought the raw chicken out to the BBQ on a plate, rinsed the plate quickly and then put it on the table.
Me: You need to wash that with soap.
Me: To avoid poisoning our friends with salmonella.
Mister: I will sit there.
Seemed a good compromise to me.
When it came time to sit, our friend (let’s call him David because that is his name) sat at the chicken plate. I said “No, sit here instead”. The seat happened to be beside me.
The entire night I kept hitting David with my legs, no matter how close to my end of the table they were. I must have said a good dozen Canadian sorry’s and thought nothing of it. Until… cue ominous music.
A couple of weeks later we received a letter (yes, I said letter) in the mail from David. He was sorry for playing footsie with me that night (Mister had plenty of questions… to which I answered ‘He was playing footsie?’. I was dumbfounded). David thought that I wanted to sit beside him because I wanted to swing. FUCK! How does that happen? We had been friends with them for over two years. Travelled together. Dinned together lots of times. We never said “I would like to see you naked?”, or, “How about leaving your key in this bowl?” You’d think it would have come up before then. (Come up, see what I did there? Of course you did–naughty.)
David and my girlfriend divorced shortly after ‘the incident’ and then he hijacked a plane.
Isn’t that how all good stories end?
*Mister thought it ironic to get me a surfboard keychain considering I broke myself surfing. He is thoughtful like that.