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Dirty driving is much like dirty dancing. In dirty dancing, you spend most of the time thinking about sex and making sex moves. In dirty driving you think about sex but don’t do the moves. See, exactly the same. So my dirty driving today began with the picture above. It seems a harmless enough photo of my car’s back up camera. If you look closely though, you will see what looks like a blurry circle. It is probably a water droplet, but I laughed out loud that maybe there was a naked man behind the car but it was being censored (notice the word Graphic too – classic stuff). Thus, my dirty driving began.
I spent a total of 35 minutes in the car to get home from an appointment today and began observing, with my smutty own eyes, the items around me that might be considered everyday. Drive with your filthy lenses on and the world is downright hysterical. So I present, Dirty Driving 101.
- Go ahead and look up Gooch in the urban dictionary, I’ll wait. New appreciation huh? Fun place to live and work I dare say.
- Frank-wood is self explanatory. Good on ya Frank!
- Look hard at Man Food (see what I did there?). I am sure it was a simple sign for Manila, Maniac or Mango Food. Hopefully it was not Manure Food because that is really dirty. But from where I was parked it was Man Food. Notice they do take out? Good to know. You are welcome.
- Bonar may seem innocent enough. Now put on your smut glasses and pronounce it with and ‘er’ instead. Now you get it! OK, don’t get it yet, wait one more minute.
- Rear Ends – that one just explains itself.
- Sorry Martin but once you sell your Jewels, your store, and you, seem a little useless. Come to think of it though, it did look like it had been around a while. Poor Martin.
- Milky Way sounds like a delightful place to live with stars and planets, moons and suns. Not on a dirty drive. That Milky Way might just intersect with Beaver Avenue and bingo, bango, we have ourselves a date.
- Speaking of Milk… Danny got into the action early. So convenient.
- And finally, for those with ED, the distance from hard to soft was only about 3 inches. Sorry boys.
There you have it. My dirty drive complete. I made it home starting with my wet rear view and finally coming home to a happy ending. Maybe it’s a full moon 🙂
Tell me some of the fun stuff you see around your drive. Mr Lube comes to mind… The man is known to be lubricated. Seriously, that is a big seller!