Enough Already. Visibility Pour.

I was in a terrible accident on Tuesday. It started as a fabulous day. In fact, it is the day I look forward to all year. I leave the house early, Mister is ‘on’ with the kids and I take all our ski stuff up north to the place we rent for the season. I love that when the family arrive, we get straight to having family time because I have already made the beds, set up the gaming system and Netflix, stocked the pantry and paper goods. It is a day that I feel productive and reward myself with eating out somewhere crappy and listening to Howard Stern all day in the car.

This year was different.

I was really concentrating on the roads because it was foggy. That is when I saw it. A rig, pulling two flatbed trailers carrying some kind of equipment turned left in front of me crossing my lane. I was going about 70km/hour and saw the truck just as I realized there would be no way to avoid him. He was trying to get three sections of vehicle across a highway in fog. He had to have said a Hail Mary before he pressed the gas because there was no way he could have seen any traffic going either way.

I made a decision to slam the brakes and attempt to get down the street he was coming from. I aimed for the ditch thinking the snow would be softer than the truck. The snow was softer, but I hit the truck before the snow. 4 airbags deployed, car shut down immediately and I was left wondering WTF?

Here is/was my car.

I went, by ambulance, to the nearest hospital and waited to make my statement to police.

I will change the police officer’s name to protect him. Let’s just call him Archibald Seymour Smith. ASS for short.

ASS: So, what happened?

(shouldn’t he buy a girl a drink first?)

Me: I was travelling east when I noticed the truck pull out to make a left in front of me… blah blah blah.

ASS: Tell me about the road conditions.

Me: Well it wasn’t dry, but it wasn’t slick. I would say the roads were dewy.

ASS: Would you say visibility was pour?

Me: Pardon me officer. I didn’t understand the question.

ASS: Was visibility pour?

Me: Pour? I’m sorry, maybe my concussion is playing tricks on me, but I don’t understand what you are asking.

ASS: Was visibility pour? Pour?

Me: Oh, poor. Yes, visibility was poor.

ASS: Would you say 100 yards?

Me: Honestly I don’t know.

ASS: 100 metres. Would you say it was 100 metres? (100 metres is roughly the same as 100 yards. Was that a trick?).

Me: Officer, I couldn’t tell you. I truthfully can’t tell you what 100 metres looks like and could not relay it to the visibility today.

ASS: So what do you want me to write?

Me: I don’t know. Maybe write ‘She wasn’t sure’?

ASS: I didn’t charge anyone, obviously, because of the conditions.

Me: Pardon? I thought it was obvious that he turned in front of me when it wasn’t safe to do so?

ASS: Visibility is pour. I almost got in an accident on the way to take your statement you know.

This is where I lost it. I broke down crying and an angel of a man waiting in emergency too brought me a bottle of water and a box of tissues and a sympathetic smile.

The officer proceeded to hand me the report and my driver’s license back. He was packing up when I asked “Do you know where my car is?”

ASS let out a big sigh and he had to sit down and dig through his bag. He found the card from the tow yard.

ASS: Where do you want your car?

Me: Somewhere in Toronto. The car was full with our stuff for the whole ski season.

ASS: (big sigh as he called the tow company) She wants in towed to Toronto. (to me) What yard in Toronto?

Me: I don’t know. (seems a theme) I have never had to do this before so I have no relationship with a ‘yard’.

There was a lot of bantering (and by that I mean eye rolling) back and forth with the officer and the tow company on the phone and me trying to make it easier on both of these gentlemen. The tow yard did not want to go to Toronto (1 hour away). I did not want to come back to the scene of the accident.

I finally said: Can he get it to Mississauga?

ASS: How about Brampton? (that is 1/2 the distance).

Me: Fine. Brampton.

Later this week I will tell you the last of my emergency room wisdom. It will be funnier and there is a happy ending 🙂