Free the Penis? Maybe not.
A ‘Free the Penis’ revolution, started by Game of Thrones’ Emilia Clarke, is making its way to talk shows. It has made walking the streets hazardous. Men everywhere are letting their junk out. Actually, thank God that hasn’t happened. Because this is a bad idea. There’s no problem with pornstars freeing their Johnson in the name of adult entertainment on sources such as hdpornvideo, but that doesn’t mean that mainstream TV needs to be a sausage fest too.
Emilia started this movement because she is naked a lot in Game of Thrones and felt there was inequality. Well duh. Of course there is inequality. There always is, but for good reason.
Here are the five reasons that I think #FreethePenis is ill conceived.
- No one really likes to look at a man’s pork sword. Women will look at naked women on TV; men will begrudgingly accept this challenge as well. Neither wants to see spurt reynolds and his two friends. That’s for the bedroom and the Dirk Diggler movies.
- The one-eyed monster doesn’t always represent love; without context, it can represent violating women. Maybe Emilia has never been threatened by a penis or abused by one, but one in five women have. That means one in five women will never likely want to see the organ unless it is in a loving and controlled environment. On the couch with your hand in the popcorn without warning is not that environment. Very few boob violations are on the record.
- The old chap flops around without grace.
- We can’t be sure that hot actor doesn’t have a dick double, so it loses its appeal.
- It will ruin your appetite and make us change the channel. Your advertisers will go away because they know this too.
No. Just no. This is wrong. I can’t stress this enough. We do not want to see any man’s package on network TV.
Did Emilia not read the book before she decided to become the Khaleesi? Her character is naked a lot, and when she isn’t naked, she is partially naked. I don’t even care if the male characters are naked in the book, show the whole body but the organ because it is simply not beautiful (sorry guys–truth).
Be careful what you wish for Emilia. I suspect you will be saying “Ok, that’s enough,” before long (or short. I am not sizeist). Take your shirt off Emilia and come to your senses already. Nobody cares if you don’t want to show your breasts anymore. Your character does and that should be enough.
#FreeThePenis or #KeepYourPenisToYourself – Which camp do you belong in?
Now that you are done reading, go hear me on Inside Voice. 38 minutes of beaver stories. Spellbinding!