Free the Penis? Maybe not.

free the penis

A ‘Free the Penis’ revolution, started by Game of Thrones’ Emilia Clarke, is making its way to talk shows. It has made walking the streets hazardous. Men everywhere are letting their junk out. Actually, thank God that hasn’t happened. Because this is a bad idea. There’s no problem with pornstars freeing their Johnson in the name of adult entertainment on sources such as hdpornvideo, but that doesn’t mean that mainstream TV needs to be a sausage fest too.

Emilia started this movement because she is naked a lot in Game of Thrones and felt there was inequality. Well duh. Of course there is inequality. There always is, but for good reason.

Here are the five reasons that I think #FreethePenis is ill conceived.

  1. No one really likes to look at a man’s pork sword. Women will look at naked women on TV; men will begrudgingly accept this challenge as well. Neither wants to see spurt reynolds and his two friends. That’s for the bedroom and the Dirk Diggler movies.
  2. The one-eyed monster doesn’t always represent love; without context, it can represent violating women. Maybe Emilia has never been threatened by a penis or abused by one, but one in five women have. That means one in five women will never likely want to see the organ unless it is in a loving and controlled environment. On the couch with your hand in the popcorn without warning is not that environment. Very few boob violations are on the record.
  3. The old chap flops around without grace.
  4. We can’t be sure that hot actor doesn’t have a dick double, so it loses its appeal.
  5. It will ruin your appetite and make us change the channel. Your advertisers will go away because they know this too.

No. Just no. This is wrong. I can’t stress this enough. We do not want to see any man’s package on network TV.

Did Emilia not read the book before she decided to become the Khaleesi? Her character is naked a lot, and when she isn’t naked, she is partially naked. I don’t even care if the male characters are naked in the book, show the whole body but the organ because it is simply not beautiful (sorry guys–truth).

Be careful what you wish for Emilia. I suspect you will be saying “Ok, that’s enough,” before long (or short. I am not sizeist). Take your shirt off Emilia and come to your senses already. Nobody cares if you don’t want to show your breasts anymore. Your character does and that should be enough.

#FreeThePenis or #KeepYourPenisToYourself – Which camp do you belong in?


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  1. Hey now. Speak for yourself, Woman! Ha! More peen all day. Free the damn peen. One nekkid man for every nekkid woman, or fewer nekkid women. No, just more peen. And your picture? Fabulous!!! I like looking at spurt reynolds 😉
    halfa1000miles recently posted…Schumer HumorMy Profile

  2. Team #FreeThePenis…sorry girl. I definitely do not want to see it, but I definitely agree that there is a huge divide between what is allowed to be shown on TV, and it makes me realize that in order to change the “patriarchy”, we need to make them show the peen too, as well as tits and ass. Or, take away tits and ass and only show feet!!! But show MAN feet too.

  3. Believe it or not, this whole thing is new to me. While I agree with all your points and haven’t taken the time to read anything about Emilia’s, isn’t the Free the Penis movement just about highlighting the overrepresentation of women’s breasts and butts in film compared to male nudity? I’d be surprised if Emilia is really wanting to see more peen on the screen.

    • It is about the over representation, for sure. She also wants to see more male nudity. I am totally on board with seeing less boob out of context as well, but I don’t want more penis to even the score. I just don’t. There is a place for nudity, but not for the sake of nudity. I still think she is funny to make the case the way she has instead of concentrating on the campaign she should have started which I wou.d have totally been on board with.

  4. While I agree that the human wang is definitely not the most pleasant fleshy bit available to feast our eyes on, and if any guy ever sent me a dick pic I would most likely react by hurling my phone into the nearest volcano to cleanse it with fire, I…actually think male nude scenes in TV and film are kinda awesome.

    I can’t really explain why. It’s not like I’m all “Ooh, sweet, a dong!” because, um, no. But there’s something about the way male nude scenes tend to be filmed that feels so thoughtful and natural and refreshing compared to the way tits are paraded around willy-nilly on screen at any opportunity. I can’t help but approve.

    So I guess I’m team #FreeThePenisButHowAboutWeAlsoClassUpTheJugsMaybe.
    Spoken Like A True Nut recently posted…Night of the zombie spider.My Profile

    • I agree they can make beautiful scenes depicting male genetalia. My beef with the beef is more in what Emilia is saying. She wants to see more to make it even. I don’t think that’s how it works. Maybe in the “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” game, but not in the world. Bring on the male nudity if it is art, not if it is just to throw it in, like they do with boobs. #TeamJustMakeitRelevantandBeautiful

  5. OK, I have not watched GOT (Ok, yes, don’t hate me…yet…) but I agree with what you’re saying about being in character. If that is what the character does, then that is what the actress is paid to do. I really get annoyed when people make political issues out of every darn thing. A good book/movie/song is just what it is. But in separating that issue from GOT, would I like to see male bits? Why not, if that is relevant to the show, story or message. I think nudity for the sake of nudity, whether male or female, is degrading. So what Team would I be? I would be #FreethePenisIfItIsTellingMeSomething but I would make exceptions. There are always exceptions to the rule.

  6. Maybe you’ve heard of the Guerilla Girls. They’re a group of feminist art critics who anonymously make witty attacks on the art world. For instance they’ve done billboards that say “Do women have to be nude to get into the [name of art museum]?” And they’ll add something like “Less than 5% of the artists are women but 85% of the nudes are”.

    They’ve got a point and even without exposing One-Eyed Winkie the male figure has aesthetic appeal that isn’t exploited nearly as often as the female. But I’m not sure letting it all wang out is the answer.
    Christopher recently posted…Universal Transit Authority.My Profile

    • I think artfully done (like David) letting the wank wander freely is lovely. But not because it evens the score. Because it is an artistic impression. If more than 95% of the artists are men, no wonder there is an inequality!

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