A Frightening Scene in Time for Halloween
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I was on our front stoop listening to how the meek will inherit the earth from two, well-dressed, readers of scripture. While I was trying to evaluate my own life (read: figure out how to politely removed the Jehovah’s Witnesses from our front stoop without resorting to retrieving my tarot cards) when I looked to the sound coming from the back yard. The gate was open, which was my first clue something was wrong. My second clue was the dog. He was chowing down on something that used to be alive. Scooby got rid of my visitors be proving the strong survive and the meek are eaten head first.
Scooby was previously an accessory to a duck murder, he killed a baby chipmunk, and he played with two different dead squirrels. This should not have surprised me then when he was biting the head off (I’m sorry, but this one is worse than the duck) a bunny. Yup, Scooby looked up at me screaming at the Jehovah’s/at him to ‘get away,’ and he had bunny fur hanging from his lips.
We’ve been trying to figure out the mystery of how the bunny died and made it to the middle of our yard. Here are the facts of this case. I’ll leave it to the jury of people reading this blog to determine Scooby’s innocence or guilt. His punishment will be the same either way–none. In fact, he might get a cookie because he may (and I stress MAY) be a murderer, but he’s just so darn cute.
- There has been a bunny hanging around the neighbourhood. We have seen him on our walks when we were on the lookout for skunks (because Scooby got skunked AGAIN this year). We all did the obligatory “Aww, it’s a bunny.” Scooby was oddly silent. Exhibit A: Alive bunny on our neighbour’s lawn.
- The bunny and the dog are both not tall enough to open the gate latch. Sure, the bunny can hop, but not comically high. So it was likely the lawn service which was two days prior forgot to latch the gate. That means the foxes, coyotes, or coywolves could have ‘got’ the bunny and left it there for later.
- Foxes, coyotes, and coywolves do not leave the delicious fatty body just lying around for later. That is the goal if you hunt a bunny–or so I imagine.
- Scooby does not have previous experience with which part of the bunny is the most delicious, but he has bitten the head off his toy stuffies. Exhibit B: Lamby.
- Lamby still has his head but no body. Score one for the dog.
- Could an owl have done this and left the remnants for later? We do have a small owl that comes to visit and from my extensive (3-hour) falconry experience, we did feed the owl a quail’s head. That may not be the same as a bunny head, but it is similar enough.
- Scooby is a sheepdog. That might imply he is all-seeing and maybe even quick, but how can that be true I ask? Exhibit C: His haircut.
- Could this face really be guilty of killing a bunny? Exhibit D: Innocent face.
All of this investigation leads me to several unanswered questions.
- Should Scooby be punished for eating the food clearly left dead for his consumption in the backyard?
- Will the Jehovah’s ever return?
- What will I have to do to get rid of my Jehovah’s friends next time?
- Do you believe Scooby when he says he is innocent?
- Do I need to sleep with one eye open?
- Is this the end of the reign of terror in our backyard and can small animals return in safety (except the skunk… that can stay away, please!)?