I Get It–You Love Fall

I Get It--You Love Fall

I’m sick of hearing it. “Fall is my favourite.” “I love the cool nights and mornings.” “Fall is the best.”

First–you are all wrong. Summer is the best because it is warm and you can justify ice cream every day and you don’t have to take vitamin D supplements to stop from crying. Here are some of the reasons people quote when telling EVERYONE how much they love fall. They are also the reasons I don’t love fall. Which side of the debate are you on? HINT: the right answer is Summer. Note, I did not include spring or winter in this comparison. If you like the sneezing of things blooming and the smell of dog poop thawing under the snow, you are nutbar. If you like winter, I just don’t know you anymore.

Pro FallPro Summer
Pumpkin Spice everything.Pumpkin spice spam is available only this fall. Yeah, summer is better.
Gear up to Christmas beginning earlier and earlier.This is not an advantage. In the summer, all you have to worry about is when it is happy hour, not what aunt Bertha will mail you this year that could contain maggots.
“I love the fall colours.” Sure. The trees are beautiful but know what else is pretty? Non-dead flowers and trees. Besides, no one looks good in orange.
Raking is ‘exercise.’So is shovelling, but don't tell me you like that too. Know what else is exercise? Exercise.
Cozy sweaters everywhere.This one is fun. Who doesn't love a cozy sweater? But the itch is all over instead of the single bug bite that you complained about for 12 minutes.
Seasonal cups are out so the happy season begins.Who cares? If it was, in fact, a joyous season, the nature wouldn't die off and the animals prepare to hibernate or fly away.
People use the word crisp to disguise that it is cold.You don't need to disguise anything in the summer.
One extra hour of sleep one day.Or, you can set your alarm for one hour later one Sunday, or every Sunday in the summer because it is the season to relax and restore.
Decorative gourds finally have a place.Goodie, decorative gourds. They cost money, start to rot when placed on the front steps and become feed for the squirrels. Good times.
Cool nights to sleep.Know what else creates cool nights? Air conditioning which is used in the summer.
New seasons of some of our favourite TV shows begin.This is sweet, I agree. But Bachelor in Paradise is a summer show and you should embrace it. It is literally the reason people call it the boob tube.
Black Friday.Or, you could not get trampled when shopping. You choose.
The kids get to go back to school.This is an advantage, I will give you that. But, everyone also goes back to work and stops hanging out with their family.
Turkey leftovers.Did you know you can have turkey at other times of the year? True story. It is particularly lovely in the summer BBQ'd.
Getting to use the word tryptophan and taking advantage of napping.This one is a nice perk. But here is a little known fact: you can use the word tryptophan any time of year and napping in the sun is quite delightful and you don't have to wear socks.
Root veggies are at every meal.The root veggies you are eating in the winter were, gasp, grown in the summer. You are excited about eating old food. Think about it.
Lots of family gatherings.Ha! Be careful what you wish for.
Football season begins.Yawn. Don't get me wrong, I like football, but I also like not being beholden to the TV every Sunday all day.
ELF on the shelf gets dug out of storage.Suckers!
No more sunscreen.Shame! You should be wearing sunscreen everyday anyway. Save your skin and yourself.

I think you will agree after reviewing this list, fall isn’t all it is cracked up to be. Maybe it makes you feel better to say fall is your favourite season because it somehow eases the transition from your glorious holiday-filled long summer into the darker days of fall on the doorstep of winter. Just be honest about it. Say it with me… “It sucks that summer is over!” It will cleanse your body and give you the resolve to get through the dead seasons to come.

PS: It also gives you license to be angsty if you are in the mood–so use it.

Photo by Autumn Mott Rodeheaver on Unsplash


Comments

  1. Halloween is my favourite holiday and that’s the only good thing I can say about fall. That extra hour of sleep? You’ll adjust in a week and you won’t notice it. Pumpkin spice everything? Invented to cover up the fact that pumpkin doesn’t taste like anything. And don’t get me started on raking. In the 18th century a guy like Harvey Weinstein would be called a “rake” and one of the few things that century got right is it was not a compliment. There’s a reason their label for guys like that was an unwieldy grating instrument that mostly only exists to be annoying. I’m getting off the subject. Because raking is a waste of time I used to mulch the fall leaves with the lawnmower. At least that was the idea. Fall leaves clogged up the mower and I’d be sneezing leaf dust for a week.
    And the outdoor pool closes so I have to compete with the kids for a swim lane.
    Thank you. Seriously. This touched a nerve, but in a good way. Aside from Halloween I never realized how awful fall is and don’t get me started on people who insist on calling it “autumn”.

  2. I hate to keep pointing out – South Florida – There truly is a time of year that one wishes “summer” would just go away. And then we get a hurricane and everyone wishes for the immense heat again.
    I grew up in New York and remember having a love/hate relationship with all seasons. I loved sledding in the snow followed up by hot chocolate, then dipping my ice cold fingers in tepid water to keep the frostbite from doing damage. Fall, yeah, raking all the damn time because the leaves wouldn’t stop falling. Spring, I have to admit I kind of liked, although you still had to go to school so that sucked, and Summer I’ve already covered. True, new issues but my favorite memory is baking in the sun using a reflector and baby oil for that all over turkey tan (before anybody knew about the dangers of the sun!

  3. Kristine,
    Clearly you don’t live in Texas. We’re in the middle of September and our temps are still closing in at 100 degrees farenheit (I’m in the DFW area) as I write this. Thank God for air conditioning! However, that’s expensive. So cooler temps in fall sound pretty enticing right about now. Mona
    M. L. James recently posted…Seeing SpotsMy Profile

    • Mona, I do not, and have not lived in Texas. I did live in Australia and we did not have a/c. We kept our pillow cases in the freezer and fell asleep fast. Still, in 40 Celsius (104 Fahrenheit) you would still see me out running. I guess my body just prefers the heat inside and out.

  4. I’m mostly with you on the summer season, but for me, spring just slightly edges it out. That’s because it’s when I can start hiking again after waiting through the long winter. Now, about this Bachelor in Paradise. Really? I’m not sure we can be friends anymore. However, you can be friends with my wife since she watches that rubbish.
    Arionis recently posted…Breaking A Little Bit BadMy Profile

  5. I just bought spiced cranberry vodka.
    Your argument is invalid…
    😉

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