I’ve Been Busy–Just Not Here (Take 2)
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Welcome back and sorry if you are getting this twice. I’d love to promise that it won’t happen again, but I can’t.
So, in a moment of technical genius, I updated my site (changing it to managed WordPress to speed it up) and I forgot to do a backup first. I lost this post for a day. Good news is that I am so narcissistic that I had it cached on my phone (I used a technical term in context there–yeah me, proving my point twice). So I retyped it to make sure you didn’t miss a moment of my life. I know you wouldn’t be able to take the suspense.
My new blog design should be coming out this month. I chose my theme and have a graphic designer planning out my banner now. I am super pumped!
I have a Vlog idea ready for you (Stupid Human Tricks), but I have a super bad cold so my nose looks like I’m an alcoholic and I am too vain to do it now. Besides my tricks are so mind-blowing that the Vlog might go viral and I wouldn’t want my virus going viral. See what I did there?
I started my own copywriting business. I am getting paid to write other people’s blogs. I can’t believe it either.
I have been writing like a fiend for other sites. Here are my latest contributions:
I did write about semen jewellery. It is an, as yet, untapped market. True story. But it isn’t true, it is satire. I read an article on The Facebook about a woman fashioning jewellery out of her breastmilk. Do you really think I could leave that alone?
My most shared article to date! Another satire (because me like it) based on the always popular notion that once you are married, shaving in winter is so not going to happen. Sorry boys. If you think your wife will be different. I am sure you are right. Really, really sure.
Again I tackled the much talked about anti-vaxxers. Sorry if you fall into that category, but I just couldn’t resist a woman in Kanata who was surprised all her children got Whooping Cough despite them not having the vaccine. More satire but that is the last one for now. I do have another scintillating article on a man finding the milk in the fridge being edited as we speak. More on that later.
This may not be satire, but it should be. I read Trump Temptation and I am proud of it. It was 10 pages of poorly written soft porn about The Donald and a Bellboy. It was total drivel as the author warned us it would be. It needed a book report, so I obliged.
This is an image to remind you to check me out on Endearingly Wacko when you get a chance. Gina is a bit off her rocker, so you know we are soul mates. She let me write on her site so she is good peeps.
Finally, I am going to be featured on Absolutely Prabulous soon, so watch her for my #OOPS Files contribution.
I also received a lovely rejection from Scary Mommy, so my vision board is really shaping up.
I never want to leave out my other friends. The following bloggers make me laugh, inspire me and generally help me keep my head above water. Go say hi, but don’t forget to come back. I would miss you terribly!
Finally, thank you to the commenters that left lovely and funny notes last time. Gina, Katarina, Margot and Christopher–you are rockstars!