This May Be My Last Post

I am sad to say that after careful review of my symptoms, it appears that I have either Addisonion Crisis or Medullary Cystic Disease. Both are life-threatening. This is likely to be my last post.

Addisonian crisis can be a life-threatening condition. I can go into shock or have seizures or go into a coma. Coma just sounds like a really great nap that means someone else is making dinner. I have had seizures before, they aren’t fun, but coma sounds like a good gig.

I am not worried about this condition if, in fact, that is what I have. I can carry an emergency hydrocortisone kit for the remainder of my life as long as I have a new cute handbag to carry it in and that will save me. It also makes people feel sorry for me (more attention here please) and they may do things for me like make dinner or massage my feet.

As for Medullary Cystic Disease, I will not be so lucky. Unfortunately, MKCD will ultimately lead to end-stage renal disease—in other words, eventually, my kidneys will fail. At that point, I will need to have a kidney transplant or undergo dialysis regularly in order to keep my body functioning properly.

Instead of all that dialysis, I prefer to just die dramatically with the whole family in mourning around me as I lament, they will cry. As I sigh, they will worry it is my last breath.

If you need to contact my doctor at all he is Dr. Google. After we had people over for dinner last night I inputed headache, fatigue, irritability and dehydration as my symptoms and it is confirmed. I am dying of renal disease.

So long blog followers. Thanks for the memories.