Men are Like Cats, Not Dogs (a Scientific Study by Me)
I have been doing some thinking about the common association that women are more like cats and men are more like dogs. I would like to refute that. Men are like cats and I can prove it. Be warned the following contains VAST generalizations and a bit of tongue in cheek. You are meant to nod along and maybe even chuckle or, if I do a good job, guffaw. There was no science harmed in the making of this blog post.
Why Men are Like Cats
- Cats try stupid stunts thinking they are invincible. Men and boys are constantly getting into trouble sliding serving trays down hills is a current example.
- Cats are curious. Have you seen a man drive by the scene of an accident and NOT slow down to look?
- Cats like to mark with urine to leave messages for other cats. Messages like ‘they are totally cool for mating’. When a man whips it out in public, it is generally assumed they are ready for a mating.
- If you don’t feed cats they get aggressive. Think about a room full of pizza and a man fasting for blood work.
- Cats are socialized when they are 4-12 weeks old and it defines what type of cat they will be around others. Men were socialized around the same time and never change either.
- Cats are not afraid to bitch slap a friend if they are out of line. Men will get that over with then share a beer while women would much rather hold a grudge.
- Cats lick themselves. Men would love to lick themselves.
- Cats don’t rely on their sense of smell. Have you smelled any teenage boys’ rooms lately? They don’t rely on their sense of smell either.
- Cats like to knead things. Boobs.
- Cats have very sensitive hearing even more so than dogs. Men can also hear everything you say, they just choose which items they will acknowledge.
- Cats lose almost as much fluid in saliva as they do through peeing. So cats drool a lot. Hmmm.
- Cat urine glows under black light. That was urine in the bed, right?
- Finally, a cat’s brain is more similar to a man’s brain than that of a dog’s. It’s on the web y’all.
I rest my case.
Mister did not approve this message. Meow.