A Mother’s Calendar for December
Sure, Talk Like a Pirate Day might be fun for all of thirty seconds, but we surveyed one hundred mothers in the greater Toronto area and asked them the kind of ‘day calendar’ they would like to see. Here is the December they would all like to have*.
And, by surveyed one hundred mothers I mean I surveyed me. By ‘they would all like to have,’ I also mean me. If you agree, that is a bonus.
December, Mom Style
- Make your bed day.
- Eat what your mother gives you day.
- Put those socks in the laundry already day.
- Don’t leave that dirty milk glass in your room for another day day.
- Bring home your lunch bag from last week day.
- Walk the damn dog that you begged us for day.
- Make your own way to school day.
- Can someone, other than me, unload the dishwasher day?
- Brush your teeth without being asked 50 times day.
- Don’t complain about anything day.
- Do your homework without asking your mother day.
- Have a fucking shower already day.
- No screen time day.
- Leave your mother alone and enjoy all the screen time you want day.
- Do your fucking chores before mom blows a gasket day.
- Yes, it is canned beans again and you are going to like it day.
- It is not unusual for mommies to drink wine at breakfast day.
- Wash your own shit-stained underwear day.
- Get outside and get some fresh air day.
- Everything on the floor in your room goes in the rubbish day.
- I warned you day.
- Let the kids fight so the last one standing makes dinner day.
- Countdown to school begins again day.
- Watch any movie as long as it keeps you quiet for two hours day.
- Enjoy Christmas with some family time on separate screens day.
- Play with the new socks Santa gave you and leave your mother alone day.
- Ask your father day.
- Separate the entire family all day day.
- Stop bickering or you will spend the day in your room day.
- Spend the day in your room day.
- Make your New Year’s resolution to find a boarding school day.
This is a free e-calendar that can be used for any month. That is my Christmas gift to y’all.
(calendar template adapted from caleendar.com)