Perfectionists Not Wanted
I am a closet perfectionist. I know it is hard to tell by my lackadaisical writing style, but I am constantly obsessing about certain things. Not cleaning, because that’s just weird. Other things like the cupboard doors, the clothing hangers and anything hanging on the wall are a constant source of stress if they are not perfect.
As I was straightening out a picture on the wall (how do they get crooked?), I started to think of jobs a perfectionist would NOT be good for. Look, if you want to be a pilot, car mechanic, forensic scientist or a dental hygienist your closet better be immaculate and Perfect should be your middle name! If you are not a perfectionist, choose your career wisely. I have a few suggestions on possible jobs. If you can think of others, feel free to add them to the comments. I love comments!
- Tax collectors. That one kind-of goes without saying.
- Your spouse’s assistant. If he/she is too efficient at getting things done, it makes me look bad. Screw up a bit and give a sister a break!
- Doctors. This might seems unusual, but if my doctor wanted me to be perfect, he better get longer office hours and more assistants. Surgeons on the other hand should be perfectionists. No Junior Mints are to be left in the making of a scar.
- Writers. Isn tit more endearing when I make a mistake 🙂 (tee hee, I just said tit)
- Photographers. All this high-resolution photography is ruining my self image. I look in the mirror and the edges are softened and I look ok, maybe even hot sometimes. It might be that my eyes are a bit blurry, but that is the advantage of getting older. Your eyes blur so you always think you look great. Now, when the kids take my picture, even with my old-lady eyes I can tell how ancient I look.
- Police officers who write me a ticket. Did you know if they write down your birthday wrong, you can get the ticket thrown out? Ditto with any information on that lovely slip of paper. I have yet to meet an officer who doesn’t get it right–not that I have many run-ins with the law or anything.
- Teachers. I had a teacher once who didn’t mark that you got a 84% on a paper, he would mark -16% because he was a stinker. Once he got it wrong. I knew I had bombed but I was surprised to see -18% on my paper. Don’t tell him, but he meant to put -72%.
- Trainers. When he says 3 more and you only do 1 yet he still moves on the the next exercise, that’s a good thing.
- Bartenders. oz? What’s an oz?
- Parents. This is a whole article in and of itself. Parents are not perfect and that is good. Good because it provides the kids loopholes to get away with stuff, get into trouble and learn from their mistakes. Good because it takes the pressure off parents. I am proud to be an imperfect parent. Stand up slackers! Celebrate our ineptitudes and embrace the learning you are giving those progeny. Because the less perfect you are, the better chance those munchkins have to be less than perfect too. How else are you going to get a doctor in the family I ask?
Flawless logic. Perfect in fact.