I Resolve to Not Resolve

I Resolve to Not Resolve

It is not like I am anti-resolution. My problem right now is how many resolution blogs and articles I have been subjected to. I get it. Everyone is taking this moment to make a fresh start. We all had too many cookies and wine over the holidays and want to get into our skinny jeans again. Trust me, I get it. But the new year newness of it all seems contrite. (Did I use that correctly? I should resolve to look things up and not rely on my shoddy memory, but where is the fun in that? Consider it a game to spot the grammarical errors and over-punctuation. It is really a gift. I am a giver like that).

Instead, I would like to offer you the ideas I have for the new year. These will likely last less than 3 weeks so I am not calling them resolutions but more ‘commitments to myself that are likely to blow up in my face before February’. I am a realist.

I will start with shit I should have resolved that have already fallen by the wayside.

Resolutions Revolution has begun.

Resolutions Revolution has begun.

  1. I will cut down on coffee. January 1 I brewed 3 pots.
  2. I will be nicer. That was a lofty goal to make it a week, so I was hoping to resolve this every Sunday for the year. I didn’t make it to Sunday. I now resolve to not resolve to be nicer.
  3. I will eat better. There is a Mars bar wrapper on my table beside my empty take-out coffee as I type this.
  4. I will drink less. But why?
  5. I will not procrastinate. It is the 3rd and I am finally getting around to writing the resolution post.

My commitments to myself that I hope to still have working for me beyond February:

  1. Be on time for 80% of my commitments. Don’t get crazy about 100%… I would just be setting up for failure.
  2. Do not enter and emergency department this winter. Lofty, I know.
  3. Blog, on average, 3 times per week.
  4. Write every day.
  5. Get paid to write SOMETHING!
  6. Only own one car for the year. I pick up my new baby on Tuesday. I hope it is covered in bubble wrap and has flashing lights all over it if anyone encroaches on my space.

Here is the only resolution I hope to keep for the whole year. More accurately, the only resolution I hope to not need past February.

  1. Win the lottery.

Ok. I have officially played nice (see item 2 above, check) and participated in the new year’s junk. I need to get on with my real resolution of winning the lottery. That baby requires me to buy tickets. Ah, the loophole in the otherwise perfect plan. Item 5 of the shit I should have resolved is standing in the way. I can’t win. I literally, can’t win. (You can check if I used that one correctly, I give up).

Happy New Year!

 


Comments

  1. I was thinking I was going to try to drink less. I just finished my third glass of wine (and I’m thinking about just finishing up the bottle, what the hell, why not?). 🙂

  2. Good luck with the lottery!!!! Love this. Might screw up mine and adopt your attitude 😉 happy New Year!! Jess xx

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