The Great Glitter Disaster

The Great Glitter Disaster

imageI don’t feel I have a lot of bad parenting stories to tell. I am more of a generalist that way. I do a lot of things when it comes to parenting in the mediocre realm. I live there. I like it there. I don’t disappoint or have to Pinterest there. Having said all that, I wanted to share a parenting fail. It started as a parenting win but ended badly as most parenting fails do.

The Great Glitter Disaster of 2009

It was a dark and stormy night (or a bright, sunny day, you pick). I was feeling very mommy-loves-her-babies when I got the dreaded glitter request. I was always a firm no, even though we had been gifted large jars of glitter by a person who hates me my aunt. 

Those jars of glitter taunted the kids every time we did crafts. They had seen and used glitter at school, certainly they were capable of managing glitter with adult supervision now that they are 7 & 5. Right?

Those hooligans saw the love in my eyes and went for it. Yes, they spent an inordinate number of years glitter-free but I felt the pressure and said yes. My conditions were basement only, kiddie table only, all finished works of art would not be displayed outside of the room in which they were created. Polish off the Mom-of-the-Year trophy now please.

All went well. Art complete, vacuum humming, the kids were on tidy up. That is when I heard it. The sound of glass meeting floor. The glitter was in a glass jar. THE GLITTER.

stepped over/shoved aside lovingly moved my 5-year-old from danger to view the 2 cups of blue glitter now adorning my floor. Oh, he was fine, don’t get your panties in a knot. I was anything but fine. I lost it. Not in a ‘nice mommy’ kind-of way. More in a ‘bitch, you just cut me off and now I am going to tailgate you until you feel properly intimidated’ kind-of way.

I am ashamed to recall the language that escaped me, the actions I did following the simple accident. I am not ashamed that it is now called The Great Glitter Disaster of 2009 because that is just funny. I felt bad that a lovely craft moment turned ugly. I am sad that my MOTY trophy now has blue glitter coving my name.

When we sold the house 3 years later, there was still glitter in the floor cracks. My soul is healed to know that it is being enjoyed by someone else.


  1. Cannot relate to glitter disasters. I’m pretty sure I have plenty non-glitter MOTY award moments though. 🙂

  2. I will not allow glitter in my home for this very reason – it just waits for a chance to escape and attach itself to everything!

  3. There’s a reason glitter is called the herpes of the arts and crafts world. Last fall my son was CAREFULLY using glitter at the kitchen counter (where we could control it) and the cheap-ass plastic lid fell off the container. Even though the mess was on the counter the glitter still immediately migrated throughout the entire house. When I went to make lunches for the next day there was glitter on the bread. When I went to bed I found glitter on my bosom like I was getting ready to hit da’ clubs. Ugh. I feel your pain.

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