This is What It’s Like to Be One of the Cool Kids

This is What It's Like to Be One of the Cool Kids

For the first time in my life I am one of the cool kids. It’s hard to believe that a startling mind such as mine has been relegated to the other tables in the cafeteria her whole life, but it’s true. Sometimes genius is misunderstood for crazy–not in my case. Crazy was misunderstood for crazy in my case.

I am part of the BluntMoms cadre. A cadre is “a small group of people specially trained for a particular purpose or profession.” I had to look it up. The definition of clique is “a small group of people, with shared interests or other features in common, who spend time together and do not readily allow others to join them.” Samesies–minus the not allowing other people to join them bit but that is just prudent.

I want to include you into my secret world because I am not good at being part of a clique and not comfortable with exclusion. The women I am crushing on are all über talented and you should check them out. But that is not the point. The point is that I am cool now so I wanted you to know that.

Even though I have been part of this online BluntMom love fest for 9 months, I feel I have finally been birthed from the womb by hanging out with many of these amazing writers over the past weekend at the BlissDom conference. Current cadre Magnolia, Julie, Anne, Tara, Shannon, Angila and Glynis all had my back (read: tried to tame me). Alumni like Kyla, Tiffany, Shawna and Sarah were there too. Although it was tough getting many of them away from the bar, Julie and Sarah did keep me company the last night on the dance floor. Tiffany also blessed us with her signature shoulder shrug. #Classic #GetOffPeriscopeAlready

The reason I tell you all of this is to get you to understand a little more about me. I was brutally bullied as a child and a teenager. Once, the entire class formed a can-can line to Rockette me with ‘you’re mommy doesn’t love you’ complete with high kicks. And, I did just use Rockette as a verb. I never thought I would find my tribe. Now I have three wonderful groups of people whom I treasure and am so blessed to have in my life. (I went through all the who/whom rules on this and settled on whom. If I am wrong, I am sorry–but not really.)

My girlfriends in my neighbourhood are my rock. They have made me meals when I was injured, picked up kids when I had to be in three places at once, offered a shoulder too often to count and handed me tequila when it was important. They are the sisters I chose and I am so glad I have them.

Now I have another group. A group that chose me. We were pooled together by editors because we all had stories to tell. These women understand me on a level that my in-real-life friends will never be able to. The Cadre appreciate my daily struggle like only other writers can. I miss them already. Thankfully we have Facebook to talk to each other but their open arms and rolled eyes can’t be communicated in emojis. They are just implied. Thankfully the sound of their voices and laughs stay with me when I read their beautiful words.

My final group is you. I want to tell you how much I appreciate you reading my meagre offerings, sharing my stories, adding your comments and just being you. You may all be crazy too, but you are my kind of crazy and I love you for it. If you are new here, know that you are welcome to join in even though I am part of a clique and now used to being exclusionary. I am planning on bucking the trend and being inclusionary, at least here. I may be cool now, but maybe, just maybe, I just wasn’t so cool 2 seconds ago.

I wanted to say suck it thank you to my schoolyard bullies. I am bigger (figuratively and literally) and I am better. You helped shape me to be the person I am by giving me reason to seek out wonderful people to be in my life. I hope you found your tribe too and you left your shitty ways back on the school ground. If you didn’t, then reap what you sow bitches. Reap what you sow.


Remember it is super cool to subscribe to my blog. I go into your inbox and leave a deposit a couple of times a week. (That was meant to sound dirty. You are welcome.)


  1. Phew! I’m glad I made into your third group. I have to admit I was sweating it for a few moments. You always brighten my day when I get your pearls – I too have had those childhood memories of bullies. (I still don’t believe you weren’t hurt during your volunteer building days – although that may be because you were volunteering, and it wasn’t part of your “regular” life.) Keep on truckin’ (boy, did THAT just date me!!!).

    • I think the big guy upstairs (not Mister) spared me because I was do-gooding.
      Of course you are in my very own cadre! Super fans get front row seats to the ass kicking I am planning for my childhood bullies (that may be figurative, because, chicken shit and probable injury).

      • Yeah. I’ve got the same flimsy backbone. Fortunately, I don’t live where I grew up so have no contact with any of them. I get the occasional “link” from, but after I look them up to see who they are (some 40+ years later), I just delete them. Who needs the reminders? Of course, my old pals find me, but then I get to talk to them on facebook or e-mail.

        • I don’t live where I grew up either but I visit. I made sure my married name is on my social because anyone who wants to find me will have to know who I married. Nobody I don’t want to remember seems to contact me. Maybe they scope me and find out how fabulous I am and run away. Yeah, that’s it.

  2. Congratulations on your new cadre, cool girl. It certainly looked like you were right in there with the cool/fun kids in the pics you posted on Instagram and twitter. (Blue Mountain Village is now following me on twitter because I favorited one of your tweets, by the way. 🙂 )

    Did that can-can thing really happen? That is sooo messed up and cruel! But it’s great that you figured out how to use the experience of being bullied to make you a stronger and happier person. Like Barbara I was reading along and started to get nervous thinking, “OK, I guess she doesn’t like/need us anymore.” I actually even thought for a second that you were going to say you were done with blogging because you’d found this other awesome tribe. I wasn’t bullied as a child (except for a little by my older sibs), but I do sometimes get stupidly insecure sometimes anyway. I’m honored and happy to be part of your third group.

    So first you made your laundry your bitch and now you’ve made those childhood bullies your bitches. You’re on a roll! Also, great piece over on MockMom. I was over there the other day reading Michelle’s (Rubber Shoes in Hell) piece, and then I read yours, too, not knowing that you were the author until I finished it and saw the “about the author’ part.” You’re just killing it, aren’t you?

    • Sorry, I don’t seem to be killing it with my proof reading. Don’t you hate when your kids keep trying to talk to you? 😉 Guess I’m not much of a multitasker.

    • Saving the best group for last my dear never worry!
      Thanks for reading on MockMom. It was fun to write.
      Can-can happened. I turned the corner and there they were. The teachers did nothing to stop it either. I was the product of divorce and lived with my dad which wasn’t done in the 70s in a small town. Kids are assholes.

  3. This gives me warm fuzzies. Kids are assholes and a lot of adults are assholes too. I have had ZERO interest in going to any of my HS reunions. I didn’t like most of those people then, I sure as hell don’t want to see them now, and on purpose on top of that. Screw that.
    kdcol recently posted…UninspiredMy Profile

    • I will never go to a high school reunion. Apparently the bitches who ran the high school yearbook were also the bitches who wanted to take me down. My brother never let me see the book but he said whatever they put in there was bad. Thank God it was before the Internet!

  4. You’re a rockstar.
    i’m cool, and our friends are cool, so by the transitive property you must be cool by association?


  5. Because I’m so often set back on my heels by your coolness–not just the cool things you do or have done but the hilarious and–no other word for it–cool perspective you have it’s amazing to think there was a time when you weren’t one of the cool kids.

    Congratulations on finding your tribe. May you and the rest live long and prosper. Yeah, I’m showing off my nerd cred with that.
    Christopher recently posted…Rendezvous With Arthur.My Profile

    • Wow! I am going to embroider all of this on a pillow as soon as I learn how to embroider.
      PS Love the nerd cred! May the Force… you know the rest. (I know, I know different Stars. See what I mean? I didn’t fit in anywhere! Until now.)

  6. My daughter is homeschooling her child so she’ll never know the “thrill” of being bullied as her mom and I once were (or the agony of dodgeball!) I also have never been to a class reunion; I’m sure the brats still haven’t changed their weasley ways. I’m glad to be in our circle, not theirs. Isn’t being grownup great?
    Marcia Hillberry recently posted…Jenny From the Blog, Y’all!My Profile

    • Thrill of being bullied–I guess it was an adrenaline rush in many ways. When given the option of fight or flight, I often chose stand there and be a punching bag. I really need to find a good therapist! But you are right, growing up is the best reward! Thanks for being part of our tribe.

  7. I did go to my 10 year reunion and it was actually a reparative experience. I *really* didn’t want to go, but my best friend talked me into going with her.

    So, for one thing, the jocks/studs/football players were fat and starting to bald and weren’t very fun to talk to. What a bummer to have peaked in high school. The guys who were once considered nerdy were the most successful and interesting to talk to. I grew up in Silicon Valley before it had really blossomed, but by 10 years after graduating high school it was in full swing. So the smart guys who may have been lacking in some social or athletic skills were now in the “in” crowd. Balance was restored! Most of the girls who had been popular and bitchy turned out to be nice women. Maybe it was maturity and being out of the competitive environment of high school, but I was very pleasantly surprised. This one woman said “I was such a bitch in high school,” and when I said “You kinda still are!” we had a good laugh together. The not so popular girls seemed to be happy and doing well and most of them looked fabulous. (As one does when they’re 28 years old and have mastered their make up and hair)

    I’m not advocating that you go to a reunion at all. I never went to any more after that first one myself—once was enough. I just wanted to say that I felt like I was relieved of some bitter feelings, and that it was really good to know that so many of the people whom I’d considered shallow and unkind had turned into nice adults. I’d never have gone if I’d been bullied, though. I do hope that your tormentors matured eventually and now feel bad about the way they treated people when they were younger. If not—though I do feel sorry for them since they must be unhappy adults—they can suck it.

    • I went to Mister’s reunion and saw one of the guys who was boyfriends with a bully in high school. I looked amazing and was happy that at least someone knew that I was doing great and not wall-flowering as they had hoped. That was before the blog or I would have shared. Bullies can suck it. I want to put that on a t-shirt.

  8. Wish I could be in your cadre. But I’ll settle for sharing the dance floor, K?

  9. Gah! It wasn’t bad enough reading about the fact you were at Blissdom and I missed it by a mere hundred dollars or so! Now I have to read about the besties you got to party with at Blissdom. This is potentially the worst blog moment of my life. It’s okay. I’ll be okay. I’m that persistent kid who got excluded from the cool kid table but continually kept popping up with my sandwich and juice box asking, “Is there room here?” There’s always next year to do tequila shots with you. In the meantime, I’ll have to be so very happy that I get your deposits twice a week in my inbox 🙂
    Sandra recently posted…The Bipolarity of Being BipolarMy Profile

  10. So happy for you. Everyone needs to be part of a group at some point in their lives. Enjoy all the warm fuzzies.
    Cassandra recently posted…Throwdown Thursday: Menarche MadnessMy Profile

  11. Yes, school wasn’t a particularly warm and fuzzy experience for me either. I’m glad three different tribes are there to give you love and support. I’m happy to be part of your last one too. There’s safety in numbers. Just let those bullies try to come back!

  12. and you are truly one of the coolest and one of the ” funnest” ( is that even a word well it is now). and how in hell did I not know that you were a t Bay peep the whole time I was at Blissdom, well chalk that up to another missed conversation.
    You rock girl and I loved seeing how much fun you were having, sad that it was the last but I do hope to see you at another ( and next time I will bring my dancing shoes) and I will track you down in T Bay next time we are back there

  13. […] recently confessed to my less-than-cool childhood, I wanted to make another confession–one I only told my father about recently. My neighbour […]

  14. […] jump, run or watch action movies so I have been going to a pelvic floor therapist (is that what the cool kids call TMI?). So far, less dribble and more dancing so I have been happy. I am not done yet and […]

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