To My Coffee Maker, With Love
Dearest Coffee Maker,
You complete me. Not in the stupid movie-type way, but in a real way. I can not imagine a day without you.
I wish I could. The stereotype of the mother so desperate for coffee throughout the day is a bit cliché. The memes about drinking coffee in the shower, although they give me a good laugh, are making me feel ordinary. But you. You make me feel special and needed. We need each other. Isn’t that beautiful?
You demand I add water, beans, filters, and power. I need you to give up your dark, bitter spoils in return.
You call for me to clean you and buy your supplies. I need you to start my day with a hot cup of rich, high octane.
You beg me to understand that sound. You know the sound of when your bean hopper is empty, and the grinder is grinding air? I know that sound. I get you.
The satisfaction I get when I fill that compartment full of espresso-rich goodness is a moment I savour. Not unlike the six moments in a day I savour your C8H10N4O2
Nobody in the house needs me like you do. Water, beans, cleaning, and rinsing. Daphne and Shaggy don’t need my constant love and devotion like you do. They do their rinsing without my support, thank goodness. I am like a french press to them. They fill me only when needed then push me out of the way and strain all the goodness and leave the waste behind. You really need me. You wouldn’t do that to me.
Even the dog, Scooby, can wait for a convenient time for his walk. He doesn’t blink at me with his LED display telling me his needs until they are met. He just sleeps at my side until I decide to acknowledge his demands.
Mister has, long since, stopped needing my constant, everyday attention. Now he is more of ‘how about tonight?’ on our 20+ years of marriage, maintenance schedule.
Since you have remained nameless to date, I feel that the last and best thing I can do for you is to acknowledge your existence and give you a name. So, from today on, you will be my Baby. And, to honour you as Peter Frampton would have, I give you a poem (OK, it is a lyric, but who is mincing words instead of beans now?).
Oh, Baby, I love your way, everyday
Wanna tell you I love your way
Wanna be with you night and day, yeah
Your indentured servant,
Kristine
That was such a touching love letter. It may have looked like I was laughing, but that was just a trick of the light. Rest assured, I was actually crying real tears at your tender words to your coffee maker. Then I went away and made a cup of coffee.
Bun Karyudo recently posted…Five Reasons I Don’t Care About My Birthday
I bet it was amazing! Now I need a cup of tears, I mean coffee too.
[…] it. I have a laminated sheet in the coffee cupboard describing, in detail, successful operation of my Baby, and yet it is ignored. Why I ask. […]
This was touching tribute Kristine. Better tell your family now that you want your beloved coffee maker buried with you (not for 60-plus more years of course) so you can spend all of eternity together…
(P.S.– I tried to leave a comment yesterday but on my desktop computer I could never get your webpage to load; it worked fine on my phone though. Stoopid technology…)
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My developer has been doing some work because the comments section got totally fucked up. Maybe that was when you were trying. Off to update my will. Great suggestion.
Coffee is the morning tradition in many many household across the world. It does matter how you brew, and create that first cup, as the flavor you offer to your first taste of the day often can set the tone for how that day is going to unroll.
I couldn’t agree more!
[…] Anyway, I was going to employ my usual travelling technique of sticking to the highlights and don’t even venture into the unknown (HA! That is not how I travel) when I veered. Autopilot is all I can say. I try not to walk down the shiny thing isle, or as I like to refer to it as the Avenue des Champs Elysées, but I deviated on this fateful day. I glanced at the Prada of pots and managed just a gentle caress before moving on. I ventured to the Cartier of coffee makers with a slight scoff knowing my coffee maker is superior. […]
Wow! Great post it helps me a lot, I’m impressed; Your idea is outstanding; the issue is something that not enough people are speaking intelligently about. I am pleased that I stumbled across this in my search for something relating to this.
Such a deep love and emotions for your coffee maker 🙂 … This is something only the coffee fanatics would understand.
As a caffaholic… you know my love runneth over!
such an awesome piece of content for coffee lovers. Thanks
We should all love our coffee makers/givers of life. 🙂
What a good coffee maker that must be. Coffee makers are really useful in everyday life.
Queensland coffee percolators recently posted…10648