Why I Smell Like Man Poop

We arrived home after the dance competition in time to find our dog sitter in pain. She was taken out by our dog, fell hard and broke her wrist. This was my most important learning from our 7 hours in hospital…

1. Grown man poop smells worse than about anything in the world. In the course of the 7-hour marathon at emerg, 3 different grown men pooped themselves. I tried to imagine the smell of cinnamon buns instead but it didn’t work.

2. Man poop sticks in your nostrils for 24 hours and will never smell like cinnamon buns even after repeated visualizations.

3. Grown man poop also sticks to clothes and it is the only time I am happy to walk through the smoker’s exit to get the stench replaced. BTW They were lovely people that didn’t smell like man poop.

4. I have added to my list the number 38 reason that I would never be a nurse. I don’t like the smell of man poop and I never want to ‘get used to the smell’ as the nurses tell me you do. In fact, let me raise that one to number 4 after 1) having to have patience for sick people, 2) having to touch sick people and 3) cleaning up man poop.

I learned other things in my emergency room marathon but none of them are more important than what I learned about man poop.

Stay tuned as I will impart more emergency room wisdom at a later date. I will, however, leave you for 24 hours with the idea of man poop so that you can get to fully understand my pain. Meanwhile, I will shower for the 6th time, blow my nose for the 27th time and find a cinnamon bun for real. I suggest you do the same.



  1. As an aside… I do feel at blame here for the accident. My dog sure, but I also wished for a good deed opportunity to counterbalance my dance mum incident and feel that 7 hours in emerg qualifies. I don’t feel better. I still think I am going to hell.

  2. […] Our housesitter was taken out by our dog and broke her arm in several places leading to Why I Smell Like Man Poop […]

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