All Your Meat Draw Questions Answered
A conversation with my brother from Vancouver.
Me: What did you do for our mother on Mother’s Day?
Brother: I usually take her out for dinner, but we haven’t organized it yet. I actually kind-of paid for dinner already though.
How do you kind-of pay for dinner?
Well, I won a roast beef in a meat draw.
I had my dad cook it the other night, and we had dinner together.
So, that’s how it is kind of like I took her out for dinner.
Hold up. We need to go back. What is a meat draw?
You know, when you go to the pub, and they have a meat draw?
So, yeah. I have no idea what you are talking about.
A meat draw. You know.
Are you saying M-E-A-T D-R-A-W?
Yeah. Meat draw.
Wow. I do not understand what a meat draw is and don’t answer the question this time about meat draw with the words meat draw.
You go to the pub, buy a ticket, and the money goes to charity.
And where does the meat come in? Is it for cattle farmers?
No. It can be any charity.
Any charity that has meat?
No, any charity. They get the meat and do the meat draw and keep the proceeds.
So you go to a pub and randomly buy a ticket for roast beef?
Yes, but your ticket is drawn then you go select your cut of meat. Then the second ticket chooses their cut and so on.
So there is more than one meat draw at a meat draw?
So they have all these raw cuts of meat just hanging around in the pub?
Well, they aren’t hanging around. They are on a table labelled meat draw.
Do you hear yourself? You win raw meat when you are on a date with your beautiful wife. That doesn’t sound odd to you at all?
No. I’ve won, I think, three times in a meat draw.
Meat draw. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
You’re the one who seems confused about the meat draw.
That was a Princess Bride reference, nevermind. Does the pub donate the meat? What do you do with the meat if you win? Do you just put it in your wife’s purse? What if you had planned to spend a whole night at the pub? Do you need to plan ahead and bring a cooler? Will the pub cook the meat right there for you so you can have dinner? How long is it at room temperature and is there a ‘packaged on’ sticker or are you just trusting the dude in the pub with your meat? Is the entire side of beef there and they just trim off a little like the butcher? Is it a Girl Guide handing you raw meat instead of perfectly cooked cookies? Do the meat draw folks follow safe food handling procedures? Do they give you a bag? Do they charge 5 cents for that bag? Who sits at the meat draw table once the raw meat is in everyone’s handbag? Can vegans buy tickets to the meat draw? Does the pub smell like stale beer and raw meat? If a guide dog comes into the pub, it will ruin his career. I have so many questions!
I don’t know how to respond. We just usually finish our veggie burgers and collect our meat and leave.
Ha. I guess that’s ironic.