Lit Knit

Lit Knit

I feel really cool. First, I used the word ‘lit’ to describe knitting and it not only rhymes, but it is a cool-kid word, word (also a cool kid word). Second, because I need to use my new knitted cowl more, I’m telling myself it is a bit cool, therefore, I am cool and need to warm up.

My daughter joined a knitting club at school and, even though knitting was not on my list originally (you will find out why soon), I added it because it looked like fun and you can do it and not hurt yourself. Also, you can knit while you are watching more Netflix. You don’t feel as guilty watching Netflix because you are really just knitting which is making clothes which is way better than just sitting and eating while watching a show which is what I used to do.

Full disclosure, I tried knitting once. Someone started it for me and handed it over, but I tried to knit Mister a sweater (before he was Mister and he was still pre-Mister). It was to be a surprise for Christmas. Surprise because I learned to knit, and surprise because I knit him a sweater that he would feel compelled to wear and feel totally awkward in but be proving his love by going out in public in it. Luckily he was saved.

I mentioned one day, “You will never guess what I’m getting you for Christmas.” Now, a normal person who doesn’t want to ruin Christmas even if they see the elephant with a giant bow and gift tag they are getting for Christmas right behind you would say, “A giraffe?” But pre-Mister didn’t know this rule and guessed (don’t ask me how), “You are knitting me a sweater.” Fuck. I didn’t knit a stitch more. I even sold all my knitting supplies and the partly done sweater in a yard sale years later. I relayed this story to Daphne recently and she was gobsmacked that Mister had guessed anything at all. “You are so wrong, Dad,” she was muttering as he was trying to–still!–defend his stance on the issue. One day he’ll learn.

That was 25 years ago and I am still angry about it. I don’t think I would even knit Mister a sweater, even if he begs me, and he is already begging for a hat. At least he is starting small. I won’t rule it out entirely because I could get Alzheimer’s and the world could start spinning backwards causing a space/time continuum so I am back to a time before I had that grudge. But the goal of learning to knit, I mean start to finish a project, was to do just that. Finish a project. I had no idea how much I would love it! I don’t remember loving it 25 years ago (but that might be the grudge talking), so maybe the gift of a Christmas sweater was really the gift he got me. He saved me from having to complete it when I was clearly not going to make the Christmas deadline without pulling all-nighters. Bonus, Mister also saved me from having to stifle a laugh with him in that ridiculous sweater before realizing I never wanted him to wear it again in public.

I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty impressed with my final product/s. So much so that I started printing off patterns for more knitting projects. Converted!


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  1. Use Your Thinkball : March 5, 2018 at 10:57 am

    You are so WOKE. I felt really cool typing that.

    And you’re so phat and sick too!

  2. I knitted scarves and crocheted matching rings in college – “sold” them for the cost of the yarn. (What a moron). Years later I crocheted a baby blanket with high hopes (never happened) and a blanket for a full sized bed. I still haven’t used it because 100% wool and DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME IT TOOK!?!? I should put it on e-bay, but same problem – never get the time back. I also can’t remember how to do any of it now. Also gave away all my needles and yarn. You make me want to try again. And as far as not hurting yourself, obviously you’ve never accidentally sat on a needle – or turned your head at the wrong time!
    This 50 for 50 will stay with you, long after your tail bone heals! Yay!

    • I’m not going to say it was ‘riding a bike’ return of skills, but it felt more comfortable than I expected. I wanted to get a couple of small projects in to give me a sense of accomplishment, but also so I didn’t forget casting on and binding off. YouTube wasn’t around my first time trying, but even some of the videos I watched were too fast at first. Fun to have a new hobby! My friends and daughter are all still working on projects too. (I’ll consider myself been warned about the needles).

  3. I’m lucky enough to be married to a knitter. Three hats and a dozen or so socks and I’m glad for all of them, especially since I have trouble just keeping my shoes tied so I doubt I’d be able to knit anything myself.
    Anyway I hope you’ll make Mister a fish hat.
    Christopher recently posted…Lost & Found.My Profile

  4. My wife is a knitter and she learned it all from watching You Tube videos. One year I thought I had gotten her the perfect Christmas gift. It was this ultimate knitting kit that had like 50 set of titanium needles (is that what you call them?) and all kinds of accessories. She acted like she loved it but I noticed that she just kept to her tried and true wooden needles though. Best thing she ever knitted for me was a pair of mittens that I could fold back the top and stick my fingers through for when I was working on things outside in the cold.
    Arionis recently posted…Stay on the trail, stay on the trail, stay on the trail…My Profile

    • Oooo… on the surface that does sound wonderful. But there is nothing better than the wooden/bamboo needles. I went on YouTube today and completed (in a day, no less) a hat for Mister’s birthday. He can finally say I knit him something.

  5. Have you discovered Ravelry yet? Someone suggested that site to me a while back and I live there now.
    Spoken Like A True Nut recently posted…I wish Daylight Saving Time were a person so I could punch it in the face.My Profile

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