Love In The Time of Covid
At dinner the other night, the family had a conversation about things we were fantasizing about. Besides the expected of being able to enjoy some freedom and the company of someone other than the people in our home, we had some general thoughts about things missed. I had actually woke myself up the night prior dreaming of hand lotion but desperately missed our cleaning lady when I had to, gasp, wash all our floors the other day. Our daughter had a fantasy about going out for lunch. Our son was all good as is, in fact, we believe he was born for isolation but did mention the gym. Mister shared the gym fantasy and he has been talking about Starbucks. “When do you think we’ll be able to walk to Starbucks again?” It’s the small things.
It is nice we are all together and I am thankful we have a house big enough for all of us to not be in each other’s space 24/7. But what about the people who currently don’t have people? Dating without the wine and dine, long walks on the beach, and benefits must be stressful. So I offer a choice, for those single people whose singleness might be a disadvantage in the Covid age. You can find someone. You just have to use a new language. And, as a former brand manager for Lavalife, I have a unique perspective on what works in personal ads. Here’s help.
Genuine Person Seeking Genuine Person
I’m new to this dating scene, but I heard that placing an ad in the local paper was the perfect way to find a like-minded life partner. I have never read the paper, but I saw this on Instagram, so it must be true.
As for me, I like walks in the front yard and back yard. Occasionally, I can be seen enjoying a long walk 6′ away from other humans.
I love to travel from the kitchen to the dining room and even sometimes the basement. But I’m equally comfortable cozying up on the living room couch with a glass of wine and my phone.
My perfect life partner would enjoy previously frozen food and long months of isolation. They would be a master of communication and fluent in many languages. I, myself, am fluent in Zoom, FaceTime, Google Meets, Netflix Party, and Messenger Video Chat.
You must own your own sanitizer, have daytime and nighttime pyjamas, have a storage closet full of toilet paper and have used items you found around the house for a face mask. Disdain for your neighbours who won’t cross the street when you approach is a bonus.
My friends say I’m good on the mute button on Zoom, always seem to be wearing pants, and are drinking more than I used to but don’t seem to have a problem.
Speaking of my friends, friends and family are really important to me. I have contacted each of them at least once during this pandemic and refuse to see them for their own safety. Our relationships are so strong, I don’t have to talk to them often. I just know they are there for me.
I am really tall, slim, and take very good care of myself. My personal hygiene and grooming schedules have remained intact during the pandemic. I just prefer to wear hats and add a filter to my selfies so that others aren’t intimidated by how well I’m doing during home isolation. Besides, it keeps the sense of mystery alive.
Exercise? You bet! I’ve been all over the house exercising. Just yesterday, I carried a really full basket of dirty laundry down two flights of stairs. You could say I’m buff, but I’d say I’m just healthy.
My life, right now, is at a 10 on the amazing scale. I’m just looking for someone to share it with from a comfortable distance.
Don’t worry, we won’t tell people we met in a bar.