Training My Dog, One Netflix Show at a Time

training dog netflix mum revised

I don’t know about your dog, but I think my dog is lazy. He spends an inordinate amount of time each day sleeping at the door. Sleeping under the coffee table. Sleeping on the grass in the backyard. It is disconcerting. I have been pursuing Netflix as a personal hobby and have discovered a wealth of dog knowledge there to aide my lazy canine in the ways of the world.

  1. Dogs with Jobs – self-explanatory really. I have a job. The kids have school. Mister works really hard. Why is Scooby such a slacker?
  2. Homeward Bound – Dogs finding their way home through the treacherous wilderness without their person screaming their names or wagging treats or putting up posters. Now that is a dog!
  3. Lassie – Saving people. Say no more.
  4. Space Buddies – Dogs in space saving humans from having to spend so much time away from their families. #Genius
  5. 101 Dalmatians – Dogs saving each other from evil scalping and inhaling each other’s spaghetti instead of inhaling eat other’s scent. I want just one of those dogs. OK, maybe two.
  6. Air Bud – The dog wins the game for the home team and saves his owner from personal embarrassment. I could certainly use the help in the embarrassment category.
  7. Russell Madness – No shit. This is a real movie about a wrestling dog who’s coach is a monkey. I can’t even make this shit up and trust me, it is on my wishlist to watch with Scooby.
  8. Underdog – Underdog flies around protecting the capital city from crime. Toronto is the capital of Ontario (and maybe even the universe) so Scooby should really be doing more in my estimation.

The movie I will not show Scooby; however, is Eight Below. We nicknamed this dog movie ‘The Movie that ruined Nova Scotia’. We were away for two weeks missing our Scoobs and Mister picked this movie up at the Motel desk (that was not a typo. I said Motel). We called it Lord of the Flies Motel, but that is another story. Suffice it to say, the movie contains many lovely dogs at the beginning all working hard as sled dogs. Good learnings for Scooby. But then when the brutal winter takes all the people away and the dogs are there to fend for themselves attached to one another by chains, the story takes a grave turn. Only the strongest survive is the moral. You conclude the rest.

I have decided. If Scooby doesn’t smarten up with this amazing dog programming, I might be tempted to turn on the Dog Whisperer, or worse, Dog With a Blog. Get off your lazy ass and start smarting Scooby. Or just come and let me rub your belly and give me a slobbery kiss and we’ll call it even.

Wanted to ask where are all my commenters? I miss you. I don’t feel loved until you send me something funny. Please, please, please. Shit, now I am begging. Guess Scooby is rubbing off after all. I think I need a new co-worker, or a job that gets me out of the house for a walk. Damn!


Comments

  1. I haven’t had a lot of brilliant comments to make, so haven’t written anything. But don’t think I’m not reading and appreciating! From what I can tell, you don’t have a “like” button to click, so you don’t know that I’m a faithful reader, even when I have nothing competent to say. But I’m reading and following. Get a “like” button! Any ER visits lately?

  2. I used to have a dog. He wasn’t lazy. He used to eat furniture. Scooby is better. 🙂

    Incidentally, your likes don’t seem to be loading, Kristine. I noticed because I had exactly the same problem about a week ago. I think in my case it had something to do with Jetpack, although I’m not entirely sure. It eventually seemed to sort itself out, though. (Unfortunately, it has been replaced by other, even worse problems this week.)
    Bun Karyudo recently posted…Severe Technical ProblemsMy Profile

  3. I’ve lived with three genius hyperactive dogs and one dopey doofus. The bouncy smartypantses were all sweet and wonderful and I loved them to death, but dear GOD was it a nice change to finally own a lazysaurus that you didn’t have to immediately assume was off to eat your wallet or dig under the garden fence or sneak a loaf of bread off the counter and scarf it down, plastic and all, every single time they left the room.

    Smart dogs get bored. Bored dogs get creative. Creativity is expensive. Just sayin’. If Scooby’s life ambition is to be a paperweight, then bless him for it.

    And no matter what Disney says, NEVER TRUST A DALMATIAN.
    Spoken Like A True Nut recently posted…Regarding raptors on the Red Planet.My Profile

  4. I live with a hundred and one Dalmatians. Well, actually three, but trust me there’s not a lot of difference. I wouldn’t trade them for anything but sometimes I wish they were lazy. They have two speeds: insanely hyperactive and asleep.
    When asleep they’re adorable.
    Awake they do things that make me have to go to the other side of the house and laugh because it’s usually a behaviour I don’t want to encourage, and believe me there are few things a Dalmatian loves more than being laughed at.
    It’s also why I discourage letting them watch television.
    Christopher recently posted…Poetry In Motion: Week 4.My Profile

  5. Continuing in my recent theme of not being dead. Here I am making a comment! Really fucking pushing the boat out this week, don’t know whats come over me.
    Seriously though, sorry for being both overworked and simultaneously lazy.

    PS you dog is adorable!

  6. hello Kristin
    Great way of doing training must say! This post is really very informative. Dog`s training is just something we can`t ignore. It has to be the best and creative which leads to efficiency and effectiveness. So much to look up!
    Thanks and keep sharing informative posts.
    Xdogvest!

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