You Should Probably Just Read Something Else

As you can tell by the title, I am in a super good mood. Super!

In the BluntMoms community, they have a facebook group for the cadre writers (of which I am one–I know, I’m surprised too.). Today, everyone is listing all their recent accomplishments. The girls have had some mad success of late. Viral pieces. New jobs. Weight loss. New goats. It’s all happening. I felt I really had nothing to report. This immediately pissed me off and inspired me.

As with everything, there are good and bad to not being popular. Hell, I’ve never been one of the popular girls so there is no need to break the mold.

With all super good moods, I am trying to switch around my attitude. Here are the reasons it is great to NOT be a popular blogger.

1. WORK! If you start going viral you have to respond to comments, blah blah blah. That amounts to work. I’m inherently lazy so that would suck.
2. People will then expect more from me. I like that I can spill out my thoughts here, totally random, and y’all accept me. I don’t even have to post for a week and you come back. It’s amazing!
3. I’d have to start wearing a bra all the time in case some reporter wants to Skype me etc. That would be a drag.
4. I couldn’t have ‘sit in front of the TV and cry over Netflix’ days.
5. I am popular with you guys, and that is all I need.

I thought I would also list my accomplishments, not for praise, but for my own therapy. I didn’t share these with the other writers because they couldn’t compete with a baby goat. Really, what does?

1. I am in an anthology called Once Upon an Expat currently available for pre-sale on Amazon here. Books for sale starting June 6th.
2. I wrote a short-story in the fantasy genre called Pink Lipstick. This is clearly outside my comfort zone; however, it was still accepted into an anthology. Read about the project here. It is pretty cool and the work is helping at-risk girls in Liberia.
3. I did not spill anything on the dog.
4. Shaggy had an accident recently and I refrained from asking the school community for meals. (He is fine, BTW.)
5. I was rejected by McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. That sounds bad, but I have been sitting on this article to send them for six months and I finally got up the nerve to send it (Thanks Christopher). I will post it later this week for your amusement because I still like it even though it is truly odd.
6. I got my 100th subscriber to MumRevised!! Actually, that was the highlight of my week. I love you guys!

Maybe it hasn’t been so bad. After all, I may not be rich or famous but my family is pretty proud of me and that is really all I need. Oh, and chocolate. And, coffee. Oh, and this. And, this ashtray and the paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and the matches for sure. That’s all I need. And you guys. After all, I’m not a jerk.