The Many Faces of Mums

In the aftermath of Mother’s Day (I wanted to do this post before Mothers Day, but a dance competition stole my time) I was talking with a friend and dropped the f-bomb a couple of times. Nothing new. We had just finished volunteering at the middle school pizza lunch and I had kept the potty mouth in control the entire hour I was there. That got me to think (stand back!). There are many personas that I put on in the day. Wife, mother, friend, blogger and badass (that was in reference to my car habits). I wonder if men are the same? It doesn’t appear as such. More importantly, is every woman I know just like me and what are we doing?

I am a funny person when put in social situations. I always seem to have some story that amuses or a take on the day’s happenings that makes people laugh. I live for that really. But when I am home with the family, my funny side is entirely different. I am more sarcastic and witty and way more serious. The humour is drier and less about stories and more about quick retorts. I have even wondered if my children have heard me tell stories before. Certainly they have overheard me amusing people at social gatherings but when I tell them a story it is so different. Around my kids I am disciplinarian and nurturer in waiting which doesn’t give me time for stories unless the kids are the authors. 

What do my kids think of this change in persona? Do they reckon I’m bi-polar? They wouldn’t be too far wrong but I don’t know how to be the same person all the time. I can’t be the same crazy lady I am with a group of friends when I am walking around with my teenager. She will never speak to me again. So far, I don’t want that. I can’t be the bitchy ‘do this now’ mother-with-an-agenda with my friends – I tried it today and it did not go over well. Sorry ladies 🙁

I can toggle from snuggly mum to lively entertainer at the drop. I will be doing the dishes then I will head upstairs and ride that spin cycle (yes, that was a euphemism). I can scream obscenities at a passing driver then walk with the kids to get ice cream. I can write filthy articles about bra sizing, ball jokes and type the phrase ‘giant cotton broom handle‘ while I am marinating dinner. Who does that? Mums, that’s who! Men seem to be the same at work as they are at home. That is a gross generalization but I like it and it is my blog so I can say that. It doesn’t matter if the kids are around, they will tap that ass if they want to. Odd.

Is this to say that I would rather be a dad? Probably not but there are certainly days that I would jump on that (wait, that is how we got into this mess). I like the many faces of mums. I love that I can watch my friends bend down and blow a dandelion with her kids knowing that the smile is because she is doing it on that’s bitch’s lawn who cut her off at the kiss-and-ride that morning. It is like a secret society. We know we have many faces. We know that the face we show to our friends may not be the true us at all times, but I’m not sure who that is anymore.

Maybe the true me is funny, serious, caring, uncaring, happy, sad, dutiful and a procrastinator. Maybe that’s ok and maybe I should see someone about it. I am certain that this is the source of so many dollars in therapy for everyone with mother issues. How are we to know who our mother really is when she has so many faces? What are our kids to think? Since mine are at school right now, I don’t care what they think. Ask me again in an hour.

Do you have many faces? When they cross the lines, does it weird you out?