Women are Like Dogs, Not Cats (Another Scientific Study by Me)
As a follow-on from my ‘very popular’ Men are Like Cats, Not Dogs (a Scientific Study by Me) I am about to prove why women are more like dogs than men are. They are certainly not like cats, as I have already established in the above, totally scientific study, so this should be simple. Women, therefore, can not be like cats either because women are not like men. Do I have to say more? Why yes, Kristine, you do. Why on earth would I read a blog with only 68 words? Touche.
1. When we wag our tails, women are signalling we are happy. We usually only wag our backsides when we are dancing. Dancing=happy. Or, naked. You do the math.
2. Women will sleep in the same bed together and not think it is weird. Having said that, I woke myself up farting on the last ladies’ day weekend and my sleeping partner Carolina was unimpressed. My dog wakes himself up farting too. Two points in one.
3. Women will multitask but if your kid is up to something, you immediately notice. Dogs are the same–squirrel.
4. Women are usually responsible for the emotional health of the household. If you have ever had a dog and a bad day, you know that your dog comes over to console you. He will lay his head on your lap and nudge you and wag his tail to remind you that the most important thing is to love your dog and the rest is just stuff.
5. Dogs remember what you taught them because they were listening. I think women are more apt to listen, but that just MIGHT be another of my patented generalization.
6. Women, mothers in particular, have eyes in the back of their head and can catch a ball headed for the kitchen cupboard like a frisbee. We can stir a pot of sauce, scream ‘don’t throw that ball in the house’ and catch it with our non-dominant hand as it is hurled towards the only cupboard with glass and not miss a stir or break a nail. I challenge a man to do that.
7. And finally, women only cum come when they are good and ready, not when a man tells them to.
I rest my case and present you with my dog Scooby smiling because he knows I am right. Good dog.
Man, what a mouthful of teeth! Do you have to brush those puppies (pun intended)? Does he look like that when he’s mad too?
He’s never mad and yes, I brush his teeth because my baby needs to be beautiful.
Women, like dogs, also have an acute sense of smell. Granted so do cats which is one area where men and cats differ, but, hey, it’s hard to make a perfect analogy.
I’m a little surprised that you didn’t throw in something about doggy-style, but maybe it’s better to just not go there.
Christopher recently posted…Thanks For The Lift!
I wanted to give you something to add which is why I left out doggie style 🙂 Thanks for never disappointing Christopher!
Oh man, that smile! It’s precious.
I’m definitely on board with the do thing.
Jay recently posted…Daddy’s Home
When people say women are like cats it makes me want to scratch their eyes out… uh, oh?!
Do it.
Jay recently posted…Everybody’s got a Christmas Movie
The DOG thing.
Jay recently posted…Daddy’s Home
Ha! I got that 🙂
OK, fine, Dr. Laco. Just don’t call me a dog or expect me to come running and jump on you and lick you when you call. Also, I don’t hump furniture or people’s legs, sniff butts or pee to mark my territory.
I will refrain from marking my territory, but I can’t commit to not humping your leg.
To continue the analogy, we once had a dog who was a “shy shitter”. She couldn’t do her business if someone was watching her. I’m the same (TMI?). My son doesn’t seem to understand this because he always barges into the bathroom at the most inopportune times in order to ask me some nonsense question. Also, this same dog would take underwear and bras out into the yard and leave them there for the neighbors to admire. Same! Guilty as charged! (OK, I don’t actually do that but it is funny I think. The dog doing it. Not me).
Gina W. recently posted…A Christmas Themed Post (Alternate Title: “You’ll Never Eat Peppermint Bark Again”)
Slightly strange that he took the underwear and bras outside. In our house, women, I mean dogs, aren’t allowed outside until someone opens the door because chivalry–just like any woman should be treated. BAM! There I go again making my argument infallible.
Kristine @ Mum Revised recently posted…Women are Like Dogs, Not Cats (Another Scientific Study by Me)