Lash Extensions Linked to Dramatic Rise in Fabulous Looking Homeless Women

During such a slow news cycle, some news gets drowned out by reports of puppy sightings and kids saying the darndest things. What you may not have seen are the incredible job creation and employment numbers reported by the Cheeto in Charge. I’m here to tell you, the report omitted some minor details–the majority......

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6 US States Use Their Successful Puppy Mill Models to Develop Exciting New Baby Retreats

“It is a glorious day here in Montgomery,” spokesperson Carey Less, told reporters on site at the newly christened People’s Child Retreat. “We now have a world where young women keep popping out babies to make adopting a baby an everyday occurrence.” In a media release, The People’s Child Retreat explained why they set......

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Breaking News: Teenagers Admitted to Area Hospital. New Syndrome Suspected.

Daphne, a 15-year-old girl in grade 10, was recently diagnosed with torn oblique muscles and a chronic twitch that appears to not be related to any nervous system condition such as Turrets Syndrome. The source of this condition can only be described as ‘ducking violently and often.’ Daphne’s mother, Kristine, describes the household in......

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