Friday F-Off: Can’t a Girl Catch a Break?

Friday F-Off: Can't a Girl Catch a Break?

It has been, literally, 3 months since I last broke a bone. So I was really overdue.

I approached the nearby hospital to have an X-ray on my broken toe from March. Lucky for me though, I had smashed the shit out of a toe on the other foot just the previous day. I was trying to look nice by steaming my shirt. I plugged in, made a coffee, came down to have a go at the shirt and just as I was about to turn on the light my feet slipped on the marble floor and I, thankfully, stopped my fall by cleverly whacking my foot on the underside of the counter kick plate. Cue break.

Seems the steamer had the on button depressed and I was steaming up the whole room while I was injecting caffeine. It sufficiently soaked the laundry room floor to a slippery disaster zone worthy of a roadside flag turner by the time I unwittingly entered the slip and slide without my goggles on. I digress.

Believe it or not, the broken toe is not my gripe. My Friday F-Off goes to the “Officer” who presented me with a fine yellow piece of paper upon my return from finding out that I had, in fact, busted another toe.

The hospital had been renovated. In that renovation, they added a parking garage because the neighbourhood parking is by permit only from 12.01am to 10am and people were inconveniently getting sick outside those hours. This is all super handy for those of us wanting to get the hospital trip over with in the morning. Problem is, the garage is ALWAYS full. I circled and circled until I found a street parking spot, said a Hail Mary and hobbled to the fracture clinic.

When I arrived at 9:22am, I took number #68. They were currently serving #35. I waited patiently because it is a patient waiting room. Duh. They called my number a mere 90 minutes after arrival to check in. Not to see the doctor. To check in.

I approached the counter.

Me: I have an unusual question for you.

Especially cheerful counter lady considering the amount of work they were making her do: Shoot.

Me: I am here for an X-ray on my left foot for a broken toe but I think I broke a toe on my right foot yesterday by happy coincidence.

Cheerful Lady: You did what?

Me: I think I broke another toe. My question is this: Should I proceed to emergency and have an ER doctor issue an order for an X-ray on my right foot or see the Orthopeadic surgeon here first for him to place the order, or can my doctor here just add my other foot to the existing order and see me at my appointed (ha!) time?

Cheerful Lady: (Laughing while she made the WTF?! face) That IS a new one.

Me: Really? I am surprised this hasn’t happened before. (Insert really goofy exaggerated smile emoji here)

Cheerful Lady asked the doctor and I could hear him say ‘She did WHAT exactly?’. He ordered the X-ray without looking at me, I waited a mere 4 hours for him to tell me X-ray one was fine, X-ray two was not. No cast this time, just tape it and stop hurting myself. Easier said…

So I hobble out to the car that was clearly parked in a spot that was, not only 1 kilometre (which is approximately 42 pounds – metric conversion) away, but in a legal spot at this point in the day. I opened the car to thank my lucky stars for small miracles that I would be home before dark and discovered my plasticized yellow fuck you on the windscreen.

“Officer J Chapman” had come around only 7 minutes prior to the parking restriction being lifted. My guess is that “Officer Chapman” was sleeping while I was cursing and circling to find a spot to go to the hospital. Maybe I should have screamed that – TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. WTF?! I also noticed that I only had one yellow fuck you. According to the sign, I was 3 hours too long in my prescribed spot. I think “Officer Chapman” went back to sleep after he/she issued the “Infraction Notice”. Guess what my infraction notice would say?

parking ticket

Maybe the fine is a little high, but you have to make a statement otherwise the “Officer” might keep doing the dickholery. Tough love.

And for shits and giggles I thought you might play a game of what came first in the collage below. It might be fun so play along will you? Beware, there is a trick 🙂

parking break collage


(The order these photos were taken was from left to right 2, 1, 4, 5 and 3. If you got it right then you are super smart! That’s your prize. You get to be super smart.)

And for a bit of fun, check out this kid. Seems we all feel the same way about those tickets.

Life with Baby Kicks


  1. Wow… Multiple brokens in one go! That right there takes some talent.
    LifeWithTeens recently posted…Of Love and Loss and Moving OnMy Profile

  2. It totally blows, all of it. My (slight) comparison is the almost ticket I got at the university when my meter ran out and the ticket writer was one car away and I escaped! The other was (at the university again) when I parked in the “better” lot (because I was tired of the economy parking being so slow with the shuttle bus but it’s what I paid for so I guess I got what I deserved on that one) and I DID get a ticket that time. I ended up paying the fine and then signing up for the better parking lot. Sorry you keep having all this shit happen to you, Kristine. I work with a gal who always seems to be having something happen to both her and her husband. And I thought they were bad. I think you take the lead in weird accidents now.
    kdcol recently posted…Giving pauseMy Profile

  3. all I can focus on is your second toe being longer than your big toe (freak!) which is cool because I Have That Too! So yeah it’s all about me…and that dick cop. Nice to know you are all layered in bullshit in Canada just like in the US. shameless plug for checking out my new site – I’m looking for bloggers that Kick Ass (like you) to contribute content with links to their own site.
    eva recently posted…Tattoo Sunburn?! 5 Tips to Avoid it!My Profile

  4. Momus says that I am the clumsiest person he has ever met. Obviously, he hasn’t met you!
    Cassandra recently posted…Throwdown Thursday: Put a Fork in This Film FranchiseMy Profile

  5. I can’t decide if I hate waiting for damn doctors more than parking tickets. It’s a close one. Sorry about your toe(s). You should really knock that sh*t off.
    ManicMom recently posted…Science says I’m not an a**holeMy Profile

  6. All I can say is that you need to quit breaking bones!
    Jana recently posted…Online Dating: A Tale of Two BradsMy Profile

  7. Good lord Kristine, I thought I was clumsy but I bow down before you, a true master in all things clumsy. OK, I’m dying to know– are you going to protest the ticket? I think you should. A ticket on top of an injury on top of a ridiculous wait time is just too much bullshit.
    Gina W. recently posted…Thift Store Gems*   (*shit)My Profile

  8. Wow i thought I was clumsy!! I got 2 parking tickets in 2 weeks from hospital parking!! Thanks for linking with #effitfriday
    Laura @ Life with Baby Kicks recently posted…The Wrong Viral MessageMy Profile

  9. Oh no! You poor thing!! That looks very sore. Officers are dickheads when they do that sort of shit. He was probably he wasn’t around when he issued the fine. You may have broken your hand while punching him ;). #effitfriday
    Kelly recently posted…THE CURSE OF SELECTIVE HEARING – Guest PostMy Profile

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