When they told me that the kitchen sink was not attached to the drains I said ‘Yeah right?’. When they said the reason we never flooded even when our neighbours did was because all the drains under our house had collapsed, I thought ‘You have to be making that up’. When the smell was......
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Introducing the Weenis! This is not a sponsored post because I’m an idiot.
EG, Shit that happens
October 20, 2014
I went to buy a contraption that allowed women to pee standing up. My conversation with the young salesman: Me: Do you have any of those contraptions that allow women to pee standing up? Him: You mean a She Wee? Me: That’s it! She Wee. That’s funny (stupid little girl giggle ensued which I......
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Emergency Room Wisdom Part IV. The Kristine wing opens this spring.
EG, Shit that happens
October 09, 2014
After they dedicate a wing in the emergency department to me then have social services cart my family away, I will publish the following guidelines to emergency room enjoyment. Read Emergency Room wisdom I, part II and part III. This will give you the basics. This is not my first rodeo in part IV. I have......
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It’s not that I don’t want you to poop, it’s that I don’t want to see or pick up your poop.
EG, Shit that happens
September 29, 2014
I am sitting in my dumpster on a brown toilet. Life is good. You see it is good because: a. We owned a brown toilet that is now in a dumpster, and b. Once they destroy our house, they are planning to put it back together all pretty like. I get a bit giddy......
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There are days when I choose to wear workout gear because I don’t want to wear a bra (and still want to be held in) but I don’t want to work out either. There are days when I catch up on tv because there is chocolate in the cupboard that needs to be eaten.......
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